Why new year’s resolutions don’t work (and what to do instead)

Did you set new year’s resolutions for yourself last December? How do you feel about those goals now? Did you achieve them, get frustrated after a couple of months? Or did you forget all about them until now? Whatever the answer, you’re not alone and you aren’t a failure either! In fact, the vast majority of new year’s resolutions are forgotten about by February. But that doesn’t mean there’s no point in setting goals. It’s just time to ditch the all-or-nothing January resolution list, and instead set yourself up for long-term success. 

The problem with new year’s resolutions

Most people have good intentions when setting their new year’s resolutions, but unknowingly set themselves up for failure from the start in a few important ways:

Always using January as a set point. January is just another month. It has no more power or significance than any other time on the calendar. When we think of January as the time to set goals, we’re basically telling ourselves, “To meet my goal, I need to do xyz every day for the entire year.” That’s a daunting task, and when we inevitably miss a day or two, that feeling of failure sets in urging us to give up and try again next year. Only next year, we already feel defeated from “failing” last year. 

All or nothing thinking. This is one of the biggest killers of new year’s resolutions. If you set a goal to work out five days a week, but you get sick or busy and only get in three workouts one week, we feel like we’ve failed. (As you’ll see later in this post, you haven’t!)

Unsustainable goals. When our goals are overly strict (cutting out all sweets even though you love them), too vague (exercise more), or tied to weight loss alone (lose 20 pounds by next January), we set ourselves up for failure. Goals like these are hard to stick to because they rarely fit into your lifestyle and may not even be aligned with your actual health needs. It’s easy to start off strong, make a tiny mistake, and end up feeling defeated and frustrated only to start all over next January.

Reframing “failures” 

What if instead of white-knuckling our way through January, our goal setting had nothing to do with the new year? Or even the beginning of any month or week? What if we simply set fluid, sustainable goals throughout the year and then reassess them as needed? 

It’s important to get comfortable with making mistakes now and then, because they will happen, and they don’t make you a failure. In fact, they don’t even have to keep you from reaching your goals! If you exercise four days a week, but then you get busy and miss a week, you won’t lose all your progress. Instead of getting frustrated, simply get back into your routine as soon as you can. 

Often with wellness-related goals, it’s more about progress than perfection. 

Setting yourself up for year-round success

If you’re ready to set some goals for yourself, here are a few things you can do to set yourself up for success. 

Start now. With social distancing and quarantine measures likely to stick around for the foreseeable future, it’s time to find ways to plan your goals around the pandemic. We can’t count on gyms opening up soon, so look into workouts you can do from home, or in a nearby park. Restaurants are unlikely to allow indoor dining anytime soon, so perhaps set a goal around learning to cook for yourself. Putting your health goals off until after COVID dies down is no longer a viable plan. 

And as I mentioned earlier, there’s no reason to wait for January 1 either. Start when you’re ready!

Set goals that fit into your current lifestyle. If you aren’t a morning person, don’t set a goal to work out at 5 a.m. every day because it won’t be enjoyable or sustainable for you. You have to meet yourself where you are now if you want to reach your goals. 

Be willing to let go of perfection. Your body is smarter than you realize. Eating a dessert or missing a workout won’t derail your efforts. Instead of punishing yourself, just take a deep breath and get back to your routine. Look at your wins instead of worrying about any slip-ups.

Reassess and adjust as needed. Remember, there are plenty of ways to reach whatever result you desire, so focus on building habits you enjoy. If your goal of cooking from home five nights a week becomes too much of a hassle, it doesn’t mean you failed. Just rework it in a way that fits your needs. Perhaps try dropping it to three nights a week, and cook a bit more so you have leftovers for the other nights. These little tweaks can make a huge difference, and they’re still valid wins. 

You can do this

When it comes to goal setting, the willingness to show up for yourself and work on good-for-you habits is the hardest part. If you’ve read this far, you’ve likely already reached that step. Good for you! All you have to do from here is keep showing up. Keep forgiving yourself and keep at it. 

Need support around creating and maintaining health and wellness goals? Contact me so I can help you.